i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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