It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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