There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
