the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
