i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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