"it" just moved
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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