I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
