woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
