Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sext me about skeletons
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
