People in love make me want to vomit
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize