somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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