i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
