Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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