i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
its liver damage thursday
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