I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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