They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
not ubering you a puppy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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