And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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