thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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