those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
