Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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