You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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