i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
