i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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