i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
