Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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