i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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