And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
