the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
