is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
