Where is the hickey?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
