He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
