no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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