sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
