Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
