I want to stick my p in your. b.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
