i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
