ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
