just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
