DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
