I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
