Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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