Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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