i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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