HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
where are my eyebrows?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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