I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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