...so i touched it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
