I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
