Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
