she looked like the before picture.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
