3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They took my balls.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
