I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
