Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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