im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
