apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Randomize
