I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
