maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
