The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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