Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
