omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
