Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize