Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
