It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
