I wannas sexs uuuuu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
